Look, no one wants to say it because they’re adorable and squishy, but babies are dumb. Sure this new little human has only been on this planet for a few months, but it’s encapable of discussing feminist theory, balancing a checking account, or pondering the greater mysteries of the universe. This is basic stuff, baby, no one’s gonna give you handouts for being smelly and small and cute.
We’ve known for a little while that Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 will be showing up in baby form following his death and rebirth in the previous film, but at the time there was still hope that Groot babies would prove to be less preciously helpless than their human counterparts. Unfortunately, friends, director James Gunn has confirmed the worst. Though he may inspire involuntarily ‘aww’ noises, baby Groot’s not going to be developing a cure for cancer any time soon. In fact, he doesn’t even remember his previous life. Here’s what Gunn had to say in a recent chat on Facebook:
Q: Is baby Groot the same as Groot, or Groot’s son?
A: It’s complicated.
Q: Does he have Groot’s memories?
Q: Does baby Groot stay baby Groot for all of Guardians Vol. 2?
A: Haha look at that cute thing my cat is doing.
Q: You’re avoiding the question.
A: I know. What’s your next question?
So there you have it. Baby Groot can’t even remember what happened to him in a previous life. SMDH.
But, hey, maybe he’ll get his act together and start remembering stuff by the time he shows up in Infinity War. After all, the Guardians are definitely going to be in that movie, right?
Q: Are they in Infinity Wars or not?
Q: Do you know?
A: Yes, I know.
Q: Vin said they were!
A: I know that too.
In all seriousness, Gunn being coy here doesn’t mean they’re not going to be in the movie. It would be unthinkable if they didn’t show up in at least some capacity. But unlike Vin Diesel who is the world’s foremost expert in counting unhatched chickens, Gunn is advocating a little patience. We’ve got a new Guardians movie on the way with a new, dumb, baby Groot. That outta be good enough for now. The other stuff can wait.