Star Trek Beyond hits theaters in just over a week. Over the past seven months, we’ve had trailers, a fan event, character featurettes, and a whole slew of posters, so you’d think at this point anyone who would be planning to see the movie would be onboard already. But maybe not! Maybe you’re the hold out. That one, last person who needs one more clip from the movie to determine whether or not they’re going to pony up the $12-$20 it costs to see a movie these days. Well, if you’re that one person, you’re in luck! Paramount has released another clip from Star Trek Beyond just for you!
Look, I’m going to be upfront with you and admit that I did not watch this clip. If you actually bothered to read the text of this post hoping for some insightful analysis or witty observations, I’m afraid you’re going to leave disappointed. I have failed you, dear reader, and I am sorry. The truth is that I’ve already passed my personal point of marketing saturation for this movie. I’ll be attending the premiere in San Diego exactly one week from today, and at this point I’d rather just wait those seven days and see this clip in context with the rest of the film.
I know this is disappointing, but I promise we’ll get through this. You can console yourself by watching this clip on repeat ad nausium until its images are burned into your retina, or perhaps you can join me in abstaining from this final marketing push and just enjoy the damn movie when it comes out next Friday. The choice is yours, you must do what you feel is right, of course.
Crap. Wrong series.
Star Trek Beyond opens in theaters July 22.